WHAT TO DO IF SOMEONE SAYS YOU WONT SUCCEED featured on lifestyle blog 45 Fairmount by Monica Woodhams

What’s the first thing that happens when you come up with an amazing idea and you want to share it?

Fear of them saying that it’s not a good idea or worse that you can’t actually do it.

But let’s say you’re so confident in that, that you’re not worried about it.

And then they do say it. “You won’t be able to succeed doing that on your own.”

This happened to me recently. I’ve been really lucky that my friends and family are supportive of my entrepreneurial spirit, but it’s inevitable that someone is going to tell you right to your face that you can’t succeed on your own. It didn’t necessarily come out of nowhere, but it still stung a bit, I’m not going to lie.

This is something that we come across our entire lives. Maybe it happened to you as a child and it stuck with you throughout adulthood. Maybe you raised your hand in class with what you thought was a great idea and instead of applause, the class burst out laughing. Then, later on in life, you’re in a work meeting, have a great solution, but you’re too scared to speak up. These tiny situations really do impact our actions for the rest of our lives.

The good thing is though that we can overcome it when we identify it. Come face to face with it. And know that it isn’t the reality of who you really are.

Here are my 5 things to do the next time someone tells you, you can’t.

  1. Don’t take it personally. Yes, it’s going to sting, but you know that they can’t define what you can and can’t do. When people try to bring others down or limit what they can do, they’re doing it because they are reflecting that feeling about themselves. They’re seeing your potential and that you’re taking action, which is something that they may have thought is something they can’t do. They’ve conditioned themselves into thinking that they can’t do something and therefore have conditioned themselves to think that you can’t either.
  2. Get back into your high vibes. Make a list wherever you are, whether it’s on your phone or a napkin of all the reasons why you’re going to succeed.
  3. Don’t get defensive. You’re probably going to want to put on the imaginary boxing gloves and get defensive, but try to avoid this. It’s not your job to convince this person why. They don’t hold the key to your success. You don’t have to prove to them anything.
  4. Know your audience. If someone you know has been unsupportive in the past, and they ask you how things are going, don’t dive into the details. Just say things are going well and move onto the next subject. Chances are that they’ll try to talk you out of it again and it’s not worth putting yourself through that. Be polite and talk about how it seems like everything these days is pumpkin spice flavored.
  5. Take one new step towards your goal. When you get home for the evening, do one thing no matter how big or how small that will make you feel like you’re progressing. It could be as small as writing out an outline or you this could be that big push to launch it in front of friends and family on Facebook.

Ready to feel inspired and “unstuck” to be the most successful version of you? Download my LA Babe State of Mind Checklist for 27 ways to reduce stress and live life with a little more ease with an LA Babe State of Mind no matter where you live!
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29 comments on “5 Things to do when someone tells you “you won’t succeed””

  1. I use to hate to raise my hand in school in fear of people laughing me, especially reading out loud. Now I just remind myself that I am intelligent and powerful beyond measure and don’t listen to what anyone says.

    • I’m so glad you liked it. It happens all to often, but knowing that you can always come back to these tips is a nice reminder that you are going to do it!

  2. I was just having a moment where I was doubting myself and my blog. It’s funny how people telling you something end up in your brain and then you do it to yourself! I love your last tip, and I’m definitely going to use that in the future!

    • I’m so happy to hear that you’ll be using that last tip! There will always be moments of doubt, but when we start teaching ourselves how to move past the doubt faster and faster, we start to see less and less of this self-doubt appear in our lives. Keep up the blogging!!

  3. I have a cousin who says I will never be successful, etc. etc. I tell her I won’t give up and eventually I’ll make a decent living from my business. But it gets me down a bit when she says it constantly.

  4. I’m so guilty of #1 and #3. I tend to take things personally which makes me incredibly defensive. Thanks for sharing these tips. I’ve been going through a lot of this recently, and it’s nice to have a wee reminder to keep your head up and keep going!

    • I’m glad you liked them Alexandra. Getting defensive usually agitates the conversation even more. You know within yourself what the truth is and that’s what matters.

  5. I think the don’t take it personal and don’t get defensive are great tips to remember! Also taking one step toward your goal is a motivating step for yourself. Plus it will feel amazing once you do succeed!

  6. Oh, I have SO been there. I’ve even had my own husband say “you can’t make it at that” in the past (of course, he’s super supportive of what I’m doing now!). It can be so deflating. Surrounding myself with go-getters in online communities has helped me stay on track. I love this post and all of your tips xo

      • The thing is, my own family is telling me I’m not capable. Now I am just stuck thinking, should I really believe them? Because they do have a good point, or should I just keep believing!? Cuz the thing is, I’ve been believing for so long and everyone making me give up on myself
        😠😠😠

        • If you truly believe that your dream is aligned with your best self keep believing, our families try to protect us and therefore are the last to seem supportive sometimes. Just keep believing in yourself and when they see your happiness from succeeding they’ll understand!

  7. I honestly can’t imagine myself saying that to anyone. That’s why I’m always surprised to hear when someone does something like that, but I believe people like that are insecure with themselves. Thus, they don’t want to see someone else succeed. Similar things have been said to me in the past, but I’ve learned to grow thick skin over the years.

  8. Wow, this was posted on my birthday! I had a conversation this morning with a family member who shared their views on me. When I tell you it hurt, although I politely smiled and walked off. But at the end of the day you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You know your intentions and YOU know where you’re headed. Just stay focused and ambitious, because you will get there!

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